One Week

Tomorrow will mark one week since I started this journey with Murphy and his book, "The Power of Your Subconscious Mind." I think it is important to take a moment to reflect on the changes that I have already seen happen in this short amount of time.  Exactly one week ago, I sat crying to my parents about what a rough week I had had. It was one filled with overwhelming stress, anxiety, and what felt like the weight of the world. That week and conversation is what ultimately led me to go back to Murphy and re-read the book. Today, I woke up feeling relaxed, peaceful, and with evidence that the power of your subconscious mind truly does work.

Last night I feel as though I was given what we call in our family a, "God Wink." This is a term that we have used for many years and it describes situations that happen where we feel our father, our faith, the law (whatever you want to call it) has shown itself in a way that is most loving and exciting. Some people may call these "coincidences" but my faith tells me it is something from a much higher power. These little "God winks" have occurred several times in my life and always seem to appear when I need them most. For example, last thursday was a day of high anxiety for me- and one that ultimately led me back to the writings of Murphy. I had to take my Kindergarteners on a field trip to Salinas, a town about 35 minutes away from Monterey, where we would see a production of "Pinnochio". Field trips are high stress for any teacher, especially since we do not take a bus and have to coordinate parent drivers each time we would like to take a trip. So far this year we had already taken about seven field trips- which was amazing for my students- but very taxing on my energy and nerves. By the time this trip rolled around many other elements led me to become filled with fear and I wasn't sure how I would make it through this trip without a panic attack. I texted my parents throughout the entire event and just as we went into the theater- God Wink! I randomly ran into one of my most special teachers from my childhood. It was such an amazing moment to not only see a familiar face, but one that radiated nothing but love and fond memories. How wonderful it was to run into an old teacher with my very own class, I could see the pride on her face.

It is little moments like those that remind us that everything is going to be ok and while we may be facing stress in the moment, there is something much bigger going on around us. If we could only take the time to tap into that power on a minute-by-minute basis, the things we could accomplish would be endless.

Last night I experienced something that I would rather call a "God Wave" rather than a "God Wink" because the multitude of belief and faith it left on me is incredible.  Last night we had a school fundraiser for our school called, the "Spring Fling."  It was an upscale dinner, dancing, and silent auction event that was well talked about for a few months beforehand. When I first heard about it I immediately decided that I would not go. One of the hardest things for me has been social situations such as restaurants and crowded areas. So of course, this was something that my conscious brain said, "avoid!". However, my very kind room mom decided that I deserved a fun night out and she purchased me a ticket to attend. The tickets were costly and it was such a wonderful gesture that I knew I would need to go. I had about a little under a month to prepare myself for the event. I bought my fiancee a ticket and asked him if he could get the night off from work to go with me. For this event, each grade level created a themed basket filled with items to be raffled off at the Spring Fling. The baskets were all very elaborate and were placed in the office about two weeks beforehand so that people could start purchasing raffle tickets. Our kindergarten basket was a lottery ticket tree that had about 350 scratchers hanging from several branches. Other baskets included a date night theme complete with a limo ride and babysitting, a family fun wagon filled with goodies, and a wine basket. Immediately, one basket caught my attention the "pamper yourself" theme. This basket was complete with restaurant coupons, a certificate for manicure and pedicures, and a stay at a small boutique inn. The hotel stay that was included was extra special as it was at an inn that I worked at throughout my undergraduate studies. I once stayed there with my fiancee and had always wanted to go back. Each day as I walked by that basket I would look at it longingly and think how much I wanted to win it. However, I never bought any raffle tickets. As the night of the Spring Fling finally arrived, I found myself nervous to go despite the fact that I had an uneventful and peaceful week at work. I was not in the mood to socialize and my fiancee and I got into a small argument the day before about who would be responsible for driving us to the event. When I got home I made myself as comfortable as possible, changing into a white fluffy robe and making a cup of peppermint tea. I knew that it is moments like these where I can use what Murphy has taught me. I texted with my dad for a while about this and he helped me remember to envision what a wonderful time I would have that night. I then read a few pages of the, "Power of Your Subconscious Mind" and listened to a soothing meditation to help relax. As I entered that wonderful dream like state I repeated to myself that I was calm, relaxed and would enjoy the night. That the little me cannot tell the big me to ruin this wonderful night that I had been given. I envisioned myself enjoying the evening and feeling happy that I had gone. I also stated that my fiancee, despite the argument we had earlier, would be happy to drive to the location.

I came out of my meditation and started to get ready for the evening when the phone rang. It was my fiancee saying that he would be running slightly late and would be arriving home in the tow truck. He said that he would get ready for the evening and then we could return his truck to his workplace and then take his car directly to the Spring Fling....God wink number one. The driving situation had been handled.

When we got to the Spring Fling, I didn't feel immediately at ease, but continued to only allow my conscious mind to play the record of positive thoughts. I admired the view of the golf course through the large windows of the banquet room, I smiled at my co workers and told them how beautiful they all looked, and I happily jumped into a very crowded staff picture. Once everyone settled into their seats for the night, my fiance and I went to look at the items for auction and the baskets that would be raffled off. Each one was amazing and I purchased 5 raffle tickets. I put my room mom's name on one to thank her for sending me to the event, I gave my fiance two to put into baskets of his choice, and I put two tickets in for the "Pamper Yourself" basket I had been admiring for weeks. As I dropped in the tickets I loudly said, "I want this one. This is the one I'm going to win.".

The evening continued with dinner and the room fell quiet as the winners of the baskets were going to be announced. We all applauded and cheered as the winners of the kindergarten, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade baskets were announced. Finally, the 4th grade basket, the one I desired was up to be announced. My mind immediately went to a very intense place of thought as I said over and over, "I am going to win this basket. They will say my name. I can hear them saying my name,  Rose Hamilton...Rose Hamilton..Rose Hamilton. I know that the love of my father is real and I am going to win this basket." As I made my proclamations the announcer spoke into the microphone and said a name that was not mine. However, no one cheered. She had said her own name! "Just kidding..she laughed. The winner is Rose Hamilton!"

This is real life. This is the truth. This moment brought me a feeling that is difficult to explain in words. I know that the power of my subconscious mind brought me to this moment and my insides suddenly felt a state of euphoria and knowing that I am on the right path. After one week of deeper study I was shown that this is the truth. The night played out exactly as I envisioned it.

I have been finding a place of peaceful creativity with this blog and for some reason I have been feeling as though this will turn into something bigger. Not only will it be a way to banish anxiety, but perhaps it will be a career change for me and the gateway to the life that I truly desire. Winning a basket at an event may seem like a small, materialistic occurrence but, it's what I felt surrounding the event. It was an answer, a voice, and proof. I know that I am on the right path.

At the end of the night my fiance and I came home to open the basket. He was just as ecstatic and stunned as I was as I had shared my thoughts with him. In all of my excitement I did not really notice much of what else happened after my win, although I knew that the person next to me won a basket as well.

As we went through our prize my fiance then shared this with me...the final God Wink of the night: "...It was amazing that you won, but what really got me is that right before the guy next to you won, I heard him say, 'this is my basket'."

A God wave...blessed beyond measure.. the workings of my father,,,the law of attraction...

The power of my subconscious mind.