We are here on this earth to interact, serve, and most importantly love one another. Our world today is filled with an enormous amount of diversity of cultures, beliefs, and personalities. Sometimes we find people in this world that we connect with instantly and they become our closest friends. Other times we encounter people that we cannot stand to be around and it leaves us with a displeasing feeling.
If using the power of our subconscious mind is solely about our internal desires and thoughts, what part does human interaction play in our manifestation process? The people that you surround yourself with can have direct influences on your mood, attitude, and therefore future- depending upon how severely the relationship impacts you.
In this chapter, Murphy discusses the daily interactions we have with people around us and how to view them in a way that only brings us joy, love, and positive results.
He starts by quoting MATT. 7:12 which contains the golden rule. All things whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, do ye even so to them. He interprets this line in a way that I haven't heard before- saying that is has both inner and outer meanings. From a subconscious standpoint he says that you should be thinking about others in the way that you would want them to think about you. He also says that this is true about feelings and actions.
Many times, and I hate to stereotype here, but many women will behave one way to someone when they around him or her, but then talk poorly about them behind their back. Here is an important thought.. when you think critically or negatively about someone those thoughts and comments are directly destructive to you. Murphy equates these moments of pessimistic thoughts to taking a mental poison which will ultimately rob you of a vivacious life filled with joy, enthusiasm, and good will.
The Master Key to Happy Relationships with Others
"Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgement ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. MATT. 7:1-2"
How many times do you pick someone else apart? You may hang onto something that he or she said in a meeting that you disagreed with, or maybe they did something that you thought was weird or odd. Many times throughout the day we interact with people, receive or process what they say or do, and then make small (or in some cases large) judgements about their character. It is not our job to micromanage others or give them a grade. I know some of you may be thinking about a specific coworker and relative that you just cant HELP but be annoyed by...and of course you are thinking that it is not your fault. If only he/she would do this or that than they would be a more likeable person.
However, Murphy says that you are in complete control of how you feel about another person.
"Your thoughts are creative, therefore, you actually create in your own experience what you think and feel about the other person. It is also true that the suggestion you give to another, you give to yourself because your mind is the creative medium."
I guarantee that the person out there that picks apart other people, also spends a good amount of time picking apart themselves. I know because I definitely used to be like that- and still at times have to remind myself to think thoughts that are not critical, but instead loving and of good nature.
Whenever you think poor thoughts or negative feelings about someone, it is a direct reflection on how they see you. I truly believe this. A few times in my life when I was having conflict with someone I chose to confront the person. Of course when I voiced my concerns they had the exact same feelings but towards me! They weren't apologetic or happy. They didn't say, "oh really, but you're such a great friend! I didn't realize I was making you feel that way.." No. It was like a mirror. What I felt the other person felt as well.
So, where do we go from here? Now that we know this happens what do we do?
In the past, I had a coworker that I struggled with greatly. We had to work very close together on a multitude of projects and the success of our relationship would directly impact the success of our business. After our meetings I would be exhausted from trying to be nice and work through compromises with a smile so that we could reach our end goal. By the time our break rolled around I had enough and would immediately find other coworkers to "vent" to . I thought that by doing this, by providing myself with an outlet, I was just taking care of my mental well being. I wasn't bottling it up and I also wasn't releasing my frustration on my coworker. I was proud of myself. In actuality I was making it worse. I was poisoning myself. It's true. I never felt any better after those discussions. Instead I felt more worked up, more frustrated, and began to pick on every little thing that could possibly bother me- whether it was truly a big issue or not.
After reading this chapter of Murphy I decided that I would stop gossiping. I would stop talking about other people as a form of "venting" or entertainment. Didn't my mind have better things to do? Not only were these conversations making me feel bad internally, but I was wasting precious time with wonderful coworkers discussing things that were completely negative.
It really took a lot of awareness to stop talking about others, it had become a habit. At times people would come to me and want to "vent" as well. During this time I either kept my responses very minimal, not joining in on the conversation, or tried to change the subject to something more positive. Remember, misery loves company and others are happy to drag you down with them. Hadn't I been doing just that? Interject some light into those gossip sessions and help pull others up. Ask them about something good that happened that day or give them a compliment. Gossip has become such a form of entertainment (just look at reality TV) and it is dangerous.
Once I took the first step, to stop talking negatively about my coworker, the next thing I did was to find things that were positive about the other person. It could be the smallest item from what they are wearing to how they handled a certain situation. I discovered when you have negative feelings about someone it really blinds you. That person can do nothing right in your eyes no matter how hard they try because you have already made up your mind about their character. I made a conscious decision to take the blinders off and find good in what they were doing each day. When I did this, I also eliminated competition between the two of us.
Many times, competition can be what leads to poor relationships, especially in the work place. Sometimes we feel like if someone is successful that leave less for us. The truth is that there is enough success to go around for all. Just because someone is very talented it doesn't make you any less. Perhaps you and a coworker are going for the same promotion, of course this creates intense competition between you two. Even if you do not receive the position you should still find yourself feeling joyful, happy, and positive. If you are secure in your beliefs and faith you will know that a blessing is still coming your way. Competition is the idea that there is not enough to go around. For those who know about the power of your subconscious mind you know that there is more than enough.
Later on in the chapter, Murphy shares a prayer that a salesman used when he was regularly feeling negative emotions about his boss. I found it very useful in my personal life and it is as follows:
"I am the only thinker in my universe. I am responsible for what I think about my boss. My sales manager is not responsible for the way I think about him. I refuse to give power to any person, place, or thing to annoy me or disturb me. I wish health, success, peace of mind, and happiness for my boss. I sincerely wish him well, and I know he is divinely guided in all his ways."
The key to being successful with this is to believe it, think it, and feel it at all times. Your relationship with your boss won't change if you say this prayer but then turn around and gossip about him or her. You won't see any improvement if you wish him or her well but then don't do any actions that reflect this statement.
Murphy talks about how we have to become emotionally mature. When you find this maturity you no longer respond negatively to the criticism and resentment of others.
Recently, I found out that I was the sole person not invited to an event. I had been purposely excluded. At first I felt crushed. My ego had been bruised. I started mentally lashing out at the people who had not invited me and basically, whined to anyone who would listen about it. During a conversation about it, I found myself near tears. Suddenly though, I had a realization that maybe the people had a reason for not inviting me. I don't think I would have gone. I wasn't very close with the others and hadn't attended any other event that they had put on. Slowly, I started to change my thinking about it- it wasn't a personal attack on me. I'm not a victim. Then, I stopped the conversation and genuinely said, " I hope they have a really great time." In that moment I closed the book and released myself from the negative emotions. I didn't care anymore and it became a non-issue.
So many times we take what people do or say to us and become victims. We dwell on it, we demonize the person that said it, and just like that our relationships are damaged and our mental state is poisoned.
As always, fix your thoughts on things that are good, positive, and of true nature. If God is for us, then no one can be against us. This principle shows us that we are in control of our own feelings and we can dictate whether we head towards a positive or negative response.
Do not allow the poison to set in. Remember, how others see you is a reflection of how you see them. So start seeing nothing but beauty in love. See the Godness in everyone.
Other important items from this chapter:
* All you owe the other, as Paul says, is love, and love is the fulfilling of the law of health, happiness, and peace of mind.
*The good you do, the kindness proffered, the love and good will you send forth, will all come back to you multiplied in many ways,
*Become emotionally mature and permit other people to differ from you. They have a perfect right to disagree with you, and you have the freedom to disagree with them. You can disagree without being disagreeable. *****I did not touch on this specifically during this blog, as I feel like it could be it's own entry given the state of our society today.
* Animals pick up your fear vibrations and snap at you. If you love animals, they will never attack you. Many undisciplined human beings are just as sensitive as dogs, cats, and other animals.
**think about how you may close yourself off from someone in order to protect yourself. Are you showing love by doing this? Or are you projecting fear?
*The other person cannot annoy you or irritate you except you permit him. Your thought is creative; you can bless him. If someone calls you a skunk, you have the freedom to say to the other, "God's peace fills your soul."
*You would not hate a hunchback or cripple. You would not have compassion. Have compassion and understanding for mental hunchbacks who have been conditioned negatively. To understand all is to forgive all.
*Rejoice in the success, promotion, and good fortune of the other. In doing so, you attract good fortune to yourself.
*Never yield to emotional scenes and tantrums of others. Appeasement never wins. Do not be a doormat. Adhere to that which is right. Stick to your ideal, knowing that the mental outlook, which gives you peace, happiness, and joy, is right, good, and true. What blesses you, blesses all.
*All you owe any person in the world is love, and love is wishing for everyone what you wish for yourself- health, happiness, and all the blessings of life.
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